Rights and Responsibilities of men and women Quran and ahadith: https://www.instagram.com/p/BSYzsaRjCg2/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Rights and Responsibilities of men and women Hadhrat Ahmad(as): https://www.instagram.com/p/BSY0O_zjAxs/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Rights and Responsibilities of men and women Hadhrat Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmood Ahmad(ra) and Hadhrat Mirza Nasir Ahmad(rh) : https://www.instagram.com/p/BSY0o7GjcVP/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Rights and Responsibilities of men and women Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) : https://www.instagram.com/p/BSY06FuDFoH/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Rights and Responsibilities of men and women Hadhrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad(aba): https://www.instagram.com/p/BSY1SA_DPRE/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Rishta Nata Part 1:https://www.instagram.com/p/BU7C0jhDm5i/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Often people mock the system of Rishtanata. This is unacceptable for many reasons.
1)Promised Messiah(as) is a Prophet who started it. Any mockery is unacceptable
2)This is the system Hadhur(aba) recommends for us and he knows more than anyone in this world and is Allahs Khalifa
It is narrated:
“As with the grace and mercy of Allah and as a result of His blessings, our Jama’at is significantly increasing in number………..Hence, it was deemed imperative that, in order to foster the mutual bonds of relationship and to save them from the ill – effects and bad outcomes, a suitable arrangement should be made for the marriage of the boys and girls. Therefore, I have made arrangements that in the future, a book must stay with me with complete secrecy and total confidentiality, wherein the names of girls and boys of the Jama’at are entered. And if the parents of the girl are unable to find a boy in their family who is from the Jama’at, bears good moral character, and is at the level of their satisfaction, or, if they similarly fail to find a girl; in such cases it will be imperative for them to allow us to find someone from the Jama’at. And everyone should feel confident that we shall, with true sincerity and compassion for the parents, do our utmost to find the most suitable match for their boys or girls………… High priority will be given to their good conduct, character and potential for progression towards goodness.
This book will be kept secret and from time to time, as the situation calls for it, the information will be passed on. But no comments will be conveyed about the girl or the boy, until and unless the good conduct and qualifications are verified. Therefore, it is incumbent upon those who show their allegiance to us that they submit a list of their children with names, ages, and nationality, so that it can be recorded in the book”. Extract for the Friday Sermon of Huzoor (aba) 12.24.2004. Quotation from “Majmua Ishtaharat” Vol. III, pp 50-51 by Masih Maud (as). In this video Hadhur explains that mothers should also send profiles of their male children, extremely important. I will also post a video on Hadhur(aba) speaking about marrying outside Jamaat
Rishta Nata Part 2: https://www.instagram.com/p/BU7ELHDDE4h/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
The concept of soul mates is extremely confusing for many. The basic definition of the soul mates I am speaking of is finding someone we connect on a spiritual level and this does exist in Islam. The Holy Prophet (saw) stated: “Souls are like recruited troops: Those who are like qualities are inclined to each other, but those who have dissimilar qualities, differ.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith #3336)
Once we find our perfect match life becomes paradise.
Hazrat Musleh Maud (ra) said, “Two almonds that come from the same shell become one when they are brought together. However, if two different almonds are brought together then they can never match. The same tendency has been placed in souls. They are also in pairs, and if they meet, then everything is attained. To find these pairs is beyond human power, it is in the perfect knowledge of God. Even the angels and prophets of God are not aware of them. Such pairs are found between men and women, between men and men, between women and women, between teacher and student, and between servant and master. Often, such people pass from the world who cannot find their pair. They continuously complain that there is no loyalty in the world. This statement of theirs is wrong. The reality is that they could not find their pair. They can say that ‘we did not find loyalty in the world,’ but they cannot say that ‘there is no loyalty in the world.’ The reality is that they do not find the pair that was created for them” (Khutbate Nika, pg. 246-247)
Many husbands complain about not finding a good wife, although one can find a good wife. However, they are unsuccessful in finding their pair, and the person they marry is in fact someone else’s pair. As a person’s shoe cannot fit on another person’s foot, similarly the one whom God has made one for cannot properly fit with someone else. For a peaceful life in this world, finding the right pair is necessary, and this is what paradise is. This is indicated in the revelation of the Promised Messiah (as), “O Adam, dwell you and your wife in the garden.” Herein, God Almighty has said that although it is impossible for man to find his pair, but I will find and bring to you your pair, and you and your pair will live in paradise and will live a life of peace. It is the work of God Almighty that He brings a person to his pair.” (Khutbate Nikah, pg. 247)
In reality, it is God Almighty who brings pairs together. So one should observe Istikhara before Allah Almighty that He find the right pair. Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran, “It may be that you dislike a thing while it is good for you, and it may be that you like a thing while it is bad for you.” There are many things that appear good but according to God they are not good. Similarly, apparently many things do not seem good but in reality they are very beneficial. So man should submit himself before God because whatever God gives will be what is good. One should always entrust his affairs to Allah Almighty that He find the true pair. When one finds their pair, then every type of ease is attained and paradise is attained.” (Khutbate Nika, pg. 249-250)
“Allah Almighty found pairs for the Holy Prophet (sa). Allah Almighty had shown the Holy Prophet that Hadhrat Aisha (ra) was his pair. It is also apparent from events that Hadhrat Khadija (ra) was the pair that God found for him (sa).” (Khutbate Nikah, pg. 249) “Similarly, in this age there was a blessed pair that God Almighty chose for the Promised Messiah (as). God Almighty had informed the Promised Messiah (as) through revelation that this marriage would be blessed.” (Khutbate Nikah, pg. 270) Hadhrat Musleh Maud (ra) said, “The Holy Prophet (sa) said that souls have an affinity to one another, meaning that certain souls have a connection with others. I believe that my soul had an affinity with the soul of Amatul Hayy (daughter of Hadhrat Khalifa Awwal (ra)).” “I have experience in many marriages. I myself have married several times, and because of being the Imam of a community, I am connected with thousands of marriages and thousands of experiences reach me. However, throughout my life, I have never seen as successful and happy a marriage as this marriage of mine was (with Hadhrat Amatul Hayy (ra)).” (Khutbate Nikah, pg. 204)
Matrimonial Alliances and Issues: https://www.instagram.com/p/BcAmkHjnUGB/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
In his Friday Sermon from March 3 2017 titled Matrimonial Alliances and Issues, Huzur (aba) said that the matters of finding marriage partners and different matrimonial issues cause restlessness in homes. Due to this, the children also move away from the right path. Sometimes, the marriages of ladies are delayed due to education and sometimes, in the name of rights in these countries, women are given wrong advice by their friends. Huzur (aba) said even some girls coming from Pakistan fall into these errors. Such problems, even more so, are also found in men. The reason is that people don’t follow the Islamic command of always saying the simple, plain truth. . • Mistakes are committed on both sides which causes trouble and has negative impacts on children. Huzur (aba) said that sometimes there are wrong expectations such as of material things and parents get excessively involved in these matters. Sometimes, women are wrongly taunted for reasons such as her appearance or due to her employment. A long list of complaints comes out containing only petty matters.
In summary, it is because of moving away from one’s faith and getting attracted to worldly things. It is imperative to find a solution of this from our faith. We have promised to give precedence to our faith over worldly matters. The Holy Prophet (sa) has advised us to especially practice this in matters of marriage. He said that instead of relying upon family status, wealth or beauty, you should prefer a faithful woman.
We also have Istikhara prayer in this regard meaning asking Allah for goodness before deciding for a marriage proposal. We should always ponder upon the verses of Nikah which enjoins Taqwa, righteousness, looking after the relatives and always speaking the plain truth.
Hazrat Khalifatul-Masih I (ra) said that Quran has instructed men should live with them in a good manner. Even if you see weaknesses in women, you should show patience.
Then some issues occur due to man’s wish of second marriage. This should only be done when there is a legitimate need. To do this to merely fulfil your desires is absolutely wrong.
Women’s Rights in Islam: https://www.instagram.com/p/BfmMOWpHsaS/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Today Hadhrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad (aba) gave a speech at the National Waqifat-e-Nau Ijtema. (24th February 2018). Alhamdulillah, as always, this speech was incredible and full of wisdom. It was not only beneficial to waqfat-e-nau but every Ahmadi Muslim and is a speech we must all listen to. This post will highlight some of the points which our beloved Hadhur (aba) mentioned today. This speech was delivered in the English Language.
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Hadhrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad(aba) stated: “In the establishment and development of any nation or community, women play a fundamental and vital role”
He then explained that it is their responsibility to train the future generations, as they are the nation builders. He explained that Ahmadi Muslim women should take pride that their primary duty is to raise the standards of the future generations by setting the very highest stand for them to learn and follow. He explained that it is their duty to guide their children in a way that they understand their faith and live according to the teachings of Islam.
Hadhur stated:
“This is a great responsibility and challenge for all of you because you are the ones who can facilitate and unlock the doors to a spiritual revolution in society”
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Hadhur (aba) mentioned :
“We are extremely fortunate because in this age Allah has Blessed us with the advent of the Promised Messiah(as) who has enlightened us with the true teachings of Islam”
Hadhur(aba) further explained that it should not be that growing up in the western world, we adopt those habits or beliefs that are contrary to the teachings of Islam. By all means, adopt only those things that are good in society. Never forget that our true guide light is and will always be the Holy Qur’an and our role model is the Prophet of Islam (saw). Rather than following the superficial glamour of this world, or being influenced by modern trends, that come and go, we must follow the everlasting and timeless teachings of the Holy Qur’an.
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Now we move to an extremely important part of the sermon. Hadhur(aba) explained that in today’s world, much is said and spoken about when it comes to women, especially women’s rights by those people and nations which are said to be extremely modern and developed. What they neglect is that just a few decades ago, they all failed to provide women with any rights. When the men of these nations finally chose to grant the women some rights, the truth was that their slogans in favour of women were often hallow and secure. –
Now we come to a beautiful example of Hadhrat Musleh Maud(ra). He mentioned that the worldly or other religions women are those who often raise slogans calling for equality and that this had led to some Muslim women groups to voice similar demands. Speaking of those Muslim groups, Hadhrat Musleh Maud(ra) narrated a story in which a jackal (a dog type animal) was seen running at a great speed. Upon this, someone asked him why he was running? The jackal replied that the king said all camels should be rounded up and seized. The person asked the Jackal why he was running away when the Kings command was for camels? The jackal said perhaps the king will also say that Jackals should be seized so that is why I’m running away. Hadhrat Musleh Maud(ra) said that the Muslim groups were like that jackal, whereby they were needlessly being let down by the wrong path of women activists or Christian or Hindu groups.
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Seeking rights when Allah the Almighty has already granted true equality to Muslim women is not needed. Why should you follow those who have not been given rights in their religion? So instead of following them, you should see your own religious book, which has given you all of the rights. Another characteristic of this era is that women have sought their rights from men and as a result, some men have formed groups in order to promote women’s rights. However, Ahmadi women should ask themselves that who are men to bestow rights upon them when their Creator, Allah the Almighty has Himself Bestowed upon them all that they need and desire?
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Hadhur (aba) further explained:
Thus the Qur’an mentions that believing men and also mentions believing women. This is true equality. If we look at Islamic history, we need only to look at the example of Hadhrat Aisha who attained a great status and till today continues to be an example for not only Muslim women but also Muslim men. Whereas we hold her in high esteem because she was the wife of the Prophet Muhammad (saw), we also respect and honour her for her own personal qualities, nobility, and achievements and she will always remain a role model for Muslims. –
Hadhur(aba) then gave some examples. For example, it is incumbent on a husband to give a fair dowry to his wife at the time of Nikah and sadly some men do not pay the dowry but that is due to their own negligence and error and is completely against Islam’s Teachings. Where the Jamaat is informed of such an action, they make sure to solve the case. Another example Hadhur (aba) gave was that non Muslim women were only recently granted the right to inherit, while Muslim women were allowed since over 1400 years ago. Girls were deprived of education while Islam championed their rights to learning and categorically stated that every girl should be provided education and the means to better herself. Islam has even guided us on the smallest matters and turned our attention towards true equality in everything.
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Allah has himself established the rights of women so it is essential that you read the Qur’an and its commentaries and study the ahadith and the books of the Messiah. by doing so, you will gain knowledge of your faith and it will remove any lingering traces of an inferiority complex or a belief that Muslim women have been deprived in any way. On the contrary if you now your faith, you will soon realize that Muslim women are the most fortunate people because their rights and status have been established and eternally protected by Allah the Almighty and His noble Prophet (saw). It is not just enough to understand your rights but that in this time and this era it is up to Ahmadi Muslims to educate and inform other people and communities about what Islam has given them.
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You should let the world know that you do not aspire to follow the ways of today so called developed and progressive people and nor do you have any need to demand your rights. You are already recipients of all that you need and desire.
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Hadhur (aba) stated: “Once an Ahmadi girl reaches an age of maturity she should cover her head with a hijab and wear loose clothing so her body is not on display for all to see. As I said, in the beginning there are over 2500 waqfat e nau in the UK and at least i hope half of them have reached an age of maturity or even more. They should observe hijab. If you set a positive example in this regard, you can and will be a role model for other Ahmadis and the rest of the world will come to recognize you for your decency and modesty. You will set an example for righteous and morality that will inspire others and prove that you are people who chose to follow your faith and are standard bearers for Islam and for women’ss rights in this era. You will be the ones who lead others to genuine progress and development. Rather than simply following the crowd to meaningless material pursuits.”
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Hadhur then stated:
“Another issue debated and condemned in western society is the fact that men and women are kept at a certain distance in Islam. For example, a lot is made of the fact that Muslim women and Muslim men and women do not shake hands with people of the opposite sex or prefer to sit and worship separately. Yet as time goes by, even those who criticize such beliefs are coming to realize the wisdom which underpins our values.”
He stated:
“For example, I mentioned once before that a prominent lady in Sweden proposed a women’s only concert, and in Berlin there was a women only area called a safe zone on new year’s. Both in Sweden and Berlin, they had to take this action due to the indecent abuse and harass of men to women in previous years. Furthermore in recent months there has been huge scandals in the American film industry after it was understood that men had abused their power and had attacked and harassed women for many years. This scandal further escalated after it emerged that sexual abuse and inappropriate behaviour had occurred in many parts of society. The question is why were women abused across the world? The answer is whether they like it or not is that free mixing that took place which meant that women were unable to safeguard themselves. Furthermore these incidents have shown that many men spoke about freedom of women, but often their motivation was their own selfish and immoral desires. They sought opportunities to take advantage of women and mentally or physically abuse women and in some cases it has created to what can only be called torture. ”
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Hadhur then quoted the Promised Messiah(as) who explained that those who reject Islam’s purdah, should first reform the nature of men because regrettably many men are unable to control themselves and pursue opportunities to abuse women and take their rights. The Messiah compared such men to hungry dogs who would pounce immediately, if some bread was put in front of them.
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Hadhur then stated:
” Whilst ahmadi girls are unable to study in Jamia ahmadiyya it is imperative that you all have a deep understanding of your religion. Thus as I said earlier you will need to read the quran ahadith and books of the messiah. As they will provide you with the knowledge of your faith. The more you increase your knowledge individually and as a collective body, the quicker you will be able to bring back mankind to its creator and you will be able to play your role in saving the world from destruction due to the ever increasing immodesty and immorality spreading in society.”
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Hadhur concluded by saying: “In the end i wish to mention that there is a great demand in jamaat for doctors and teachings so as many girls as possible in waqf e nau should try to fill this need by training in these fields. At the end i hope and pray that you all reflect upon what I said and seek to attain the highest standards in your religious training and education and that you are never prone to any inferiority complex. I pray that you are the shining stars who leave a spiritual trail behind for others to follow and learn from. May Allah the almighty bless all your good efforts and enable you all to fulfill the true spirit of the pledge you have made to serve your faith throughout your life.”
Divorce in Islam: https://www.instagram.com/p/BkyOo_MnPbA/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
In today’s day and age divorce is getting very common. Many reject the good people and accept a person based on everything other than religion. This is one of the main reasons for divorce. Apart from this, many do not pray properly. Nor do they perform istikhara. They also rush into their decisions. Divorce is allowed but it is of the most hateful things in the sight of Allah, out of what is permissible. The Holy Prophet (saw) said we should accept someone who is religious but also has a good character in our eyes. It should be someone who really understands Islam and has a close relationship with Khilafat.
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Many men rush into divorces. Men should make their decisions after much reflection and pondering. Huzur said men are made guardians over women however with this they have the responsibility to look after their family which is a commandment from The Mighty and Wise God. It is Him Who established the rights of men and women and by asserting that He is The Mighty and Wise He has made it clear that any unwarrantable advantage should not be taken from the precedence that men are given over women for The Mighty God watches over them.
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Hadhrat Ahmad(as) states:
This is not all. The law of Islam has not left the matter of divorce entirely in the hands of the husband; women too have been given the right to seek divorce through the relevant authorities. Such divorce is designated in Islamic Shairah as khula‘. In case a husband ill treats his wife, beats her unreasonably, or is otherwise unacceptable, or is not capable of discharging his obligations towards her, or if he changes his religion, or it becomes difficult for the wife to live with him on account of some incompatibility; in all these situations, she or her guardian ought to report to the judge. If he finds that the complaint is justified, he would decree dissolution of the marriage. The judge is, however, also bound to summon the husband and ask him why the wife should not be allowed to leave him. Just as Islam does not approve of a woman marrying without the consent of her guardian, i.e., her father, brother, or other near male relative, likewise it does not approve of a woman to separate from her husband on her own. It orders even greater care in case of divorce, and enjoins recourse to the authorities to protect her from any harm she may do to herself on account of her lack of understanding. [Chashma-e-Ma‘rifat, Ruhani Khaza’in, vol. 23, pp. 286-289]
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Hadhrat Sir Muhammad Zafrullah Khan sahib (ra) stated:
” Some acceptable reasons for divorce in Islam are: Adultery, but four eyewitnesses are required if the accused mate denies it, the husbands’ refusal to economically maintain the family, the husbands’ refusal to have conjugal relations for more than three months, physical or sexual abuse of a spouse or children, or incompatibility of spouses to such a degree that differences cannot be reconciled. (Woman in Islam – Sir Muhammad Zafrullah Khan (ra) pp. 13)
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Do not think that your life is over if you divorce someone. It is a huge trial no doubt and will cause sadness. However, with patience and prayers you can marry again and this time with true and sincere prayers and only accepting a proposal after you feel content. Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad (rh) and all khulafa have explained that a dream is not necessary rather it’s the feeling of the heart. If you know someone is religious and has a good character and can bring happiness to you and make you closer to God, then what else does one need? May Allah help all those struggling with marriage and Grant them Happiness ameen.
Marriage Inequality in Islam: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bk0x1JinWFt/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
When approaching the question of why Muslim men can marry non Muslim women, but Muslim women cannot marry non Muslim men, we need to first realize that Islam is the greatest religion. Islam is not a code of rules and regulations. When one understands it, it becomes clear that this religion is the most perfect vision of life. For example, when one focuses on the life of the founder of Islam, they are left amazed. Hadhrat Muhammad (sa) was the greatest of creation and was perfect in every manner. –
One quality of his was his love for women in terms of respect, and how he wanted women to have equal rights as men and treated as queens seated on a throne. Sadly, nowadays men have moved far away from teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (saw). The Holy Prophet(saw) brought the true rights of women and reclaimed women from the enslavement that they were forced into for thousands of years. He gave freedom to mothers and raised the status of women from below the earth to having paradise at their feet. Many countries have leaned towards the Islamic teachings when it comes to rights of women and all countries will slowly do the same In sha Allah.
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What is marriage? Marriage is done with the heartfelt desire by the parents that they may marry their children in a place of peace and that she lives a peaceful life. In the fiqh books it mentions there must be kufw(compatibility). The more compatibility, the more peaceful the marriage will be. As Ahmadi Muslims our main goal is to please Allah and also have a righteous progeny and for this reason it is always best to marry within the Jamat with one who is close to Islam and loves the faith more than anything.
Firstly, all Ahmadis should marry within Jam’at and this is clear from Qur’an, Sunnah, The Promised Messiah (as) and the Holy Prophet (sa) as well. Hadhur has explained that if a Ahmadi girl is married to a non Ahmadi, she will certainly become estranged from the Jama’at and therefore this practice should be shunned. He (aba) also said that the fact that we do not marry non Ahmadis is not because we wish to create division but rather it is to safeguard ourselves and to give preference to our faith over the world. –
The Holy Qur’an also speaks about interreligious marriages and allows Muslim men to marry with the women from the People of the Book, meaning the four walls of such religions which are revealed religions and not manmade. However, the Qur’an does not allow marriage with idolaters. As for the ladies, the Qur’an states that Muslim women should only marry among the Muslims. The question arises as to why does the Qur’an say such? Women, not talking about the Western so called dealers of emancipation and so on, rather we are speaking for the world as a whole, are weaker in comparison to men because men are physically stronger and the bread earners. For this reason, in religion, most often it is the men that enforce their religion on the children. If a true believer, a woman in Islam, gives birth to children only to be handed to such people who she believes is wrong, it will only create a hell for her in this world. –
Now we must realize that it is forbidden for a Muslim woman to marry a non Muslim man. However, as far as an administrative measure there are two things. The edict of mullahs is that if their girls marry outside or if their boys do, the marriage is invalid according to the Qur’an and sunnah to the extent that the progeny is labelled as illegitimate. They describe it in so many words. This is an illegal edict. Not a single verse of the Qur’an or any hadith supports it. On the contrary, girls who marry outside, most of them regret it and then they apologize and are forgiven and considered Ahmadis without the condition of them having to separate from their husbands.
In Islam and according to the Islamic system, as long as the wife lives in the house, the husband is the commander of the house. If the ultimate decision of separation is not reached, the wife should obey the husband. Two things happen in this case if the husband is not Muslim and the wife is. The religion of the children would be with the husband and he can dictate what religion they belong to. When they grow up, the children can decide but from an early age, the husband always has the stronger choice. Normally we have seen that when Muslim men marry Christian girls, the children are almost always grown up as Muslims. But if a Muslim girl marries a Sikh, Hindu or Christian, it’s the other way around and the children are lost and go to the other religion. –
Because of this position of women, there is much greater danger to their offspring to be lost according to Islam. In day to day activity, Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) saw so many Ahmadi women complain and sometimes even say that they are living a miserable life and cannot even pay chanda. The husbands even stop the ladies from going to the mosques. How can they be happy if they cannot follow their religion? However, when Muslim men marry Christian girls it’s rare for a man to cry and say his wife does not allow him to practice the faith. –
We also have to remember that Allah the Almighty has only permitted marriage outside of Islam for men if the women are from the people of the book (5:6). However, this does not include all of the people of the book rather only the ones who worship one God. The Qur’an itself mentions people of the book who commit shirk (5:74). Such a marriage is only permissible if the doctrine of the woman is of Oneness of God.
Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) explained that if she holds doctrines of shirk, then the marriage with her is not permitted even if she is from the people of the book. (Question and Answer Session, May 24 1997 @ 25:00-30:00)
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Hadhrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad(aba) stated:
“The term “People of the Book” refers to Christians and Jews alone. However, the Qur’anic injunction that a person cannot marry an idol-worshipper must also be followed in all cases. Certainly, in the modern era many people who claim to be “People of the Book” are very much engulfed in idol worship”
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Many men who marry non Muslim women are in reality not strong in their religion. The true purpose however of marrying non Muslim women is that perhaps this would allow the spread of Islam. However, many of these relationships start in a way which is against Islam like dating. Such relationships lead the children to go far away from Islam as well. The Muslims using this permission wrongly is ruining many children. The lady does not have to accept Islam when marrying the Muslim man, but the Muslim man should make her role as a wife clear if they are going to live together. She is coming to a Muslim household, so the verse of the Muslim man being the authority will remain. She should also know the children will be raised as Muslims. The Holy Prophet (sa) said, “…a man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for them; a woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them..” (Bukhari, Book 67, Chapter 91)
Hadhrat Mirza Ghulam Ahmad(as), the Promised Messiah(as) and Imam Mahdi said:
“There is no harm in marrying a non Ahmadi girl because to marry a girl from amongst the People of the Book is permitted. In fact, there is benefit to this because another person is then rightly guided. You should not give your daughter to any non Ahmadi, though if one comes to you then take her. Certainly, there is no harm in taking, but giving away (a girl) is a sin” (Malfuzat, Volume 2, Page 230)
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An important quote on convert marriages by Hadhrat Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmood Ahmad(ra):
“Then there are times when a person, in order to show that he is fully obeying the command of the Promised Messiahas, spreads the news that the person to whom he is going to marry his daughters is an Ahmadi or someone that has recently joined the Jama‘at. He says that only the formal initiation remains, and that such a person will pledge bai’at as soon as he is able to visit Qadian. They also get him to write a letter [for bai‘at]. In certain cases, such a person even turns up in Qadian and pledges bai‘at. In certain other cases, boys, in order to get the hand of a girl of their choice, deceive the girl’s family by saying that they have already written a letter pledging their bai‘at, thereby demanding that the family of the girl should marry their daughter to him. But nikahs of this kind never result in true happiness, for the intention behind them is not good. God does not need a person who enters the Jama‘at only for the sake of marriage. Nor does such a person stay steadfast with his pledge of bai‘at, or change his way of life to adopt better morals. Even if he sticks to his pledge of bai‘at, he proves to be a constant source of annoyance for the Jama‘at. There have been a number of such incidents and their result has always been undesirable. “
Let us read about a short discussion Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) had with an Ahmadi Muslim who asked this very same question:
Ahmadi questioner: The concept of marriage between Ahmadis and non Ahmadis is controversial in many societies. For the simple fact that whenever a non Ahmadi establishes a relationship with an Ahmadi, there is a likelihood that the Ahmadi will go astray. But where there is a possibility of converting the non Ahmadi partner to Ahmadiyya, should there be a compromise?
Hadhur: Compromise of what?
Ahmadi questioner: On that sort of marriage?
Hadhur: Which marriage
Ahmadi questioner: Actually, I have the understanding that an Ahmadi boy can marry a non Ahmadi girl but the Ahmadi girl cannot marry a non Ahmadi man. For the simple fact that I mean it is easier to and the women has a sort of weaker will power. But where there is a possibility for the woman to convert the man, should there be a compromise?
Hadhur: You see that is a compromise in religion, which is not permissible. Because to make marriage instrumental to converting others to the religion of one party is in principle objectionable. You see? It is not the right way of spreading a faith at all. Because if you convert somebody for the sake of the wife then his religion will only carry meaning in the favored relationship, no more to God anyway. It will have no meaning to God.
Hadhrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad(aba) stated: “The policy on this is clear. An Ahmadi girl cannot marry a non Ahmadi Man. The Promised Messiah(as) has clearly fobidden this. An Ahmadi man can marry a non Ahmadi girl due to the fact that a man can exert his influence over a woman in religious matters, whilst it is extremely difficult for a woman to influence her husband. Furthermore, it should be noted that permission for an Ahmadi man to marry a non Ahmadi girl is only granted on the condition that an Ahmadi Muslim shall conduct the nikah marriage ceremony” (Permission is still needed)
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“The next generation is not only ruined by girls marrying outside Ahmadiyyat, it can also be the case when young men marry outside. Each Ahmadi should understand that one is not an Ahmadi merely due to societal pressure or because of relationships. One should be an Ahmadi owing to being mindful of faith. If Ahmadi young men keep on marrying girls from outside, what of Ahmadi girls? If attention is not given Ahmadiyyat may not remain in families.”
– “People who marry their daughters outside soon realise the mistake. People still write acknowledging that they are suffering due to the decisions they made. Some girls are restricted from meeting their families and are also deprived of their faith. Hazrat Khalifatul Masih said at times people have not accepted his suggestions for marital matches. However, such people do end up in horrific situations.”
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sMay Allah Help us all make the best decisions and may He Help us All understand that the teachings of Islam are the greatest teachings and it will always remain that way! Ameen
Advice of the Khulafa on Marriage: https://www.instagram.com/p/BgULaYZFTIo/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
All Ahmadis should marry within Jam’at and this is clear from Qur’an, Sunnah, The Promised Messiah (as) and the Holy Prophet (sa) as well. Hadhur has explained that if a Ahmadi girl is married to a non Ahmadi, she will certainly become estranged from the Jama’at and therefore this practice should be shunned. He (aba) also said that the fact that we do not marry non Ahmadis is not because we wish to create division but rather it is to safeguard ourselves and to give preference to our faith over the world.
Hadhur (aa) also made it clear that Ahmadi men should realize that if they are TRUE Ahmadis they should not consider their own desires, and should only marry Ahmadis. They should give preference to their faith and their future progeny over worldly desires. Future generations are not only corrupted if Ahmadi girls marry others but also when Ahmadi boys marry non Ahmadi girls. And if Ahmadi boys marry outside the jama’at then who shall marry Ahmadi girls?
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Hadhrat Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmood Ahmad (ra) once said: “Whereas if someone marries his daughter to even the poorest Ahmadi, he will have saved his daughter from losing her faith….
The Ahmadis should marry their daughters when they have found a faithful and pious person, regardless of whether he or not he is well-off”
“God states: ‘O ye who believe! save yourselves and your families from a Fire…’ (66:7) If a follower of the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) was to be married to a non-Ahmadi, she would be distanced from Ahmadiyyat or would die in misery as she would be separated from her family. Can a woman throw her daughter in fire with her own hands? The practice of Ahmadis not marrying non-Ahmadis is not creating discord, it is self-protection and giving precedence to faith over worldly matters. Young men should also understand that if they call themselves Ahmadis and consider themselves as true Ahmadis they should not simply pursue personal wishes, they should marry Ahmadi girls and pay attention to faith over worldly wishes.”
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“The next generation is not only ruined by girls marrying outside Ahmadiyyat, it can also be the case when young men marry outside. Each Ahmadi should understand that one is not an Ahmadi merely due to societal pressure or because of relationships. One should be an Ahmadi owing to being mindful of faith. If Ahmadi young men keep on marrying girls from outside, what of Ahmadi girls? If attention is not given Ahmadiyyat may not remain in families.”
“At the start of his Khilafat in 1914 Hazrat Musleh Maud (may Allah be pleased with him) said that he was aware that people of Jama’at had problems relating to marriages between Ahmadis and non-Ahmadis but [after Khilafat] he understood from letters how much difficulty people were experiencing. The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) had recommended that a register be kept of names of young men and women who were of marriageable age on the suggestion of a person who had said that there was great difficulty in marriages of young men and women. He said that the Promised Messiah’s advice was not to foster relationships outside and people of the Jama’at were diverse, so what was to be done! Thus he suggested a register with names of Ahmadi young men and women which could be referred to every time someone asked for the Promised Messiah’s advice on marriage, because he said that no one in the Jama’at would not take the Promised Messiah’s advice. Some people make suggestions based on their personal interests and always end up in trouble because of this. It appears the intention of the person who made the suggestion was also not so good. Around the same time a very sincere Ahmadi approached the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) for advice on marriage and the Promised Messiah referred him to a daughter of the person who had suggested making a register. However, he made an extremely illogical excuse and married his daughter to a non-Ahmadi. When the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) came to know about this he said he was not going to get involved in marriage proposals again. Had this not been the case the Jama’at would not have faced the problems it does in this regard. One denial of what Prophet of God says can become a source of continuous trial for a community.”
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“People who marry their daughters outside soon realise the mistake. People still write acknowledging that they are suffering due to the decisions they made. Some girls are restricted from meeting their families and are also deprived of their faith. Hazrat Khalifatul Masih said at times people have not accepted his suggestions for marital matches. However, such people do end up in horrific situations.”
Islam also makes clear whom a Muslim is allowed to marry as far as his/her religion is concerned. Marriage with an idolater is totally forbidden (see Holy Qur’an, 2:222) for both sexes. However, men are allowed to marry women of the “people of the Book” (i.e., those who follow a revealed scripture), although it is not considered preferable.
Furthermore, you should be aware that the Promised Messiah (peace be on him) limited the category “people of the Book” to Jewish and Christian women. He has also prohibited Ahmadi women from marrying non-Ahmadi men. The reasoning behind this is very sound. A woman is not permitted to marry outside her faith because when she is in her husband’s home and environment, she and her children are exposed to non-Muslim and non-Ahmadi culture and practices. This makes it very difficult for her to remain steadfast in her own faith and bring up her children as Muslims. A man, on the other hand can more easily influence his wife and bring her into the Islamic way of life.
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Huzur (aba) said that the matters of finding marriage partners and different matrimonial issues cause restlessness in homes. Due to this, the children also move away from the right path. Sometimes, the marriages of ladies are delayed due to education and sometimes, in the name of rights in these countries, women are given wrong advice by their friends. Huzur (aba) said even some girls coming from Pakistan fall into these errors. Such problems, even more so, are also found in men. The reason is that people don’t follow the Islamic command of always saying the simple, plain truth.
ahmadianswersMistakes are committed on both sides which causes trouble and has negative impacts on children. Huzur (aba) said that sometimes there are wrong expectations such as of material things and parents get excessively involved in these matters. Sometimes, women are wrongly taunted for reasons such as her appearance or due to her employment. A long list of complaints comes out containing only petty matters.
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In summary, it is because of moving away from one’s faith and getting attracted to worldly things. It is imperative to find a solution of this from our faith. We have promised to give precedence to our faith over worldly matters. The Holy Prophet (sa) has advised us to especially practice this in matters of marriage. He said that instead of relying upon family status, wealth or beauty, you should prefer a faithful woman.
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We also have Istikhara prayer in this regard meaning asking Allah for goodness before deciding for a marriage proposal. We should always ponder upon the verses of Nikah which enjoins Taqwa, righteousness, looking after the relatives and always speaking the plain truth.
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The Promised Messiah (as) has also said that family status shouldn’t be looked upon in marriages, rather one should look at Taqwa. It is true that one should consider Kufw meaning compatibility. Huzur (aba) said that if a compatible and righteous marriage proposal exists within one’s family, then it should be preferred. However, this is not mandatory. Similarly, as per the instructions of the Holy Prophet (sa), it is allowed to see the woman before marriage and visit her household. However, there should not be any vein talk and the matter shouldn’t be prolonged unnecessarily. Women shouldn’t be given any emotional pain.
After yesterdays post on Khulafa advice about marriage, many wondered about cousin marriages and whether they affect your future progeny or not. Firstly this is a big allegation raised on Islam so its answer should be read carefully. I have below summarized the answer of Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh):
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The subject of genetics only tells us that if brother is married to a sister, in evolved species of life, there is a likelihood of both the sperms dying out in vain without producing a soul. This is what genetics tells us. The theory of genetics tells us, or the study of laws of genetics, that there is a likelihood of two similar characters multiplying and if the characters are good, some exceptionally good character will be born. If unfortunately they are bad, then that evil can be exaggerated and grow to a very threatening dimension. This is also true , but this is not confined to marriage within cousins. We know of certain families who have been marrying within cousins for many centuries now. In Pakistan, India and many families and no freaks of nature are ever born. –
There is also inter breeding in horses practiced for over 1400 years. Holy Prophet(saw) instructed the Arabs to go for inbreed for certain species. The result was the beautiful Arab we see today. All of the scholars of the subject say that the Prophet(saw) did a great favour not only to the horse but to mankind because the horses of today are now in excellent quality only because of the inbreeding of the Arabs. No horse can be pointed out which does not have Arab blood and that is because of that inbreeding. Some abnormalities are born within cousin marriages, but they are also happening outside. No one can prove that the cousin marriage abnormalities are greater. This also happens in other relationships where there are no cousins involved. If a diabetic marries a diabetic, there is a great likelihood that at least some children, if not all, would be diabetic. Some scholars say all would be diabetic.
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Even if they are not related, they carry the genes of the defect so this can also come from marrying outside. Scientific reality is if two diseased characters marry, there is a chance of that character being multiplied. However, there is also a chance of good character being multiplied. If abnormality was not found in other marriages, only then this would be a valid concern. The amount in deformed births are actually greater in those who do not intermarry. Islam permits you to marry your cousin but does not order you to. It promotes outside marriage to not only your blood but even outside your race. Islam demolishes all barriers when it comes to faith. If you are permitted to marry within to your kith and kin, you are also promoted to marry outside as well. –
Some say the chances of miscarriage are higher in cousin marriages but this is also false. Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) worked as a doctor in a sense as well and he had a long practice of over 25 years and sometimes in his routine, he would see hundred patients a day and saw many situations where the marriage was not between the cousins but still a deformed baby or early death occurred. When their bloods were matched, some factors were shown but this was not because they were cousins but rather because the characters contained a certain gene. These accidents take place everywhere. Islam permits you to marry inside but does not forbid you to marry outside. Both are allowed in Islam.
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However if there is a defect in one side of the family, and you also have that defect, then it should be avoided as its obvious that a higher chance of that defect would remain. But this is not only in cousin marriages, rather that would occur everywhere. –
Allah has laid down prohibitions concerning marriage, and other aspects of relations between men and woman. There are certain people that a Muslim is not permitted to marry. These are listed in the Holy Qur’an (see 4:24 ), and include mother, father, sister, brother, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces. However, Muslims are permitted to marry cousins. There are still other prohibited marriage relationships. For example, a man cannot marry his stepdaughter if he has cohabited with her biological mother. Nor can he have two sisters in marriage at the same time. (See Holy Qur’an, 4:23).
One of the biggest allegations against Islam is that it allows and promotes domestic violence. However, this is completely opposite to facts. Firstly, we need to realize what the Qur’an has done in regards to explaining the beautiful relationship between a man and his wife. In the time of the Holy Prophet(sa) women were treated in the worst ways. Many young females were buried alive and seen as a shameful object. They were not even treated as human beings. They had no rights as a spouse and were forced to marry those of their parents choice. They also had no rights to inheritance nor were they allowed to be a witness in regards to financial matters. Islam raised their status from beneath the ground to having paradise at their feet. –
Now let us see what the verse states which is often raised to support this allegation.
Men are guardians over women because Allah has made some of them excel others, and because they (men) spend of their wealth. So virtuous women are those who are obedient, and guard the secrets of their husbands with Allah’s protection. And as for those on whose part you fear disobedience, admonish them and leave them alone in their beds, and chastise them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Surely, Allah is High, Great. (Chapter 4 Verse 35)
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Firstly, many misunderstand the meaning of guardian. It means the man must protect the wife, he must take care of her, he must love her and treat her in the best manner possible. The Qur’an itself orders us to treat women with kindness (4:20). The one whom the Qur’an was revealed on, understood it the best. The Holy Prophet (saw) stated: “The best among you is the one who is best towards his wife”, he also stated “Your wife has rights over you, and your family has rights over you”. Furthermore, he said “Be mindful of women first”.
We must remember that in Islam, marriage is to bring peace and happiness into one’s life. A husband and wife are garments for each other and it’s clear that they must live in harmony. This verse in reality stops one from beating their wife. It tells a man to remove his thought of beating when his wife does a vicious behaviour such as adultery, and gives him certain steps to follow. The step reduce anger management and lead to reformation and reconciliation. Furthermore, the Prophet(sa) said one cannot even leave a mark on a woman which proves that this verse does not allow beating, rape or any ill treatment against women. The Prophet(sa) understood the Qur’an the best, and if the Qur’an mentioned such a thing, we would see him doing such but what did he say? He (sa) made it clear that we must be best towards our wives. He may not injure the wife in any way possible. –
Hadhrat Ahmad(as) stated: “Women should not think that they have been wronged in anyway. Men have been given more responsibilities than them. In fact, it is as though women have been placed on a throne, and men have been told to take care of them. Men have been made responsible for all of a women’s needs, clothing, food, etc. (Malfuzat, Volume 8 Pg 442)
He also stated:
“Do not ever consider women to be contemptible and insignificant. Our perfect guide the Holy Prophet(sa) said that the best among you is he who is best towards his wife. How can one claim to be pious when he does not behave well towards his wife… It is unacceptable to get furious or hit one’s wife on the slightest pretence. There have been instances where an enraged husband hit his wife over some slight matter…. and mortally wounded her. This is why God Almighty has said concerning them:
“And deal with them with kindness”
There is no doubt that admonition is necessary if a woman behaves improperly. A husband ought to impress upon his wife that he will not tolerate anything which is contrary to the faith, and yet he is not a tyrant who will not overlook any mistake on her part.
For a woman, her husband is a manifestation of the divine. According to a hadith, had God been pleased to enjoin prostration before anyone but Himself, He would have enjoined upon a woman to prostrate herself before her husband. Hence a man should be both hard and soft suiting the occasion” (Malfuzat Volume 3, Page 147)
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He (as) also stated: “A person who is not compassionate and benevolent in the treatment of his wife and her relatives does not belong to my Jama’at”
“Every man who is unfaithful to his wife and every wife who is unfaithful to her husband is not of my Jama’at” (Noah’s Ark, Ruhani Khazain, Volume 19 Page 19)
Now the Holy Prophet(saw) nor his companions nor the saints nor the Promised Messiah or his khulafa ever raised even a finger against women. So what is this verse talking about? Let us firstly see a summary of what Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) stated about this verse:
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Divorce comes much later. At every family feud you cannot give divorces. This is not a small thing to happen. Once man and woman are married they are married apparently and primarily married for the purpose of life. Separation according to the Holy Prophet (saw) is what Allah hates most among the permissible things, or likes this least our of what is permitted. For this reason, an attempt is made in the Qur’an to keep the marriage alive as far as possible. In this situation, it’s a teaching which cannot be improved upon. –
If we forget this teaching what do we find in the affairs of ordinary humans? There are daily fights. And most often, men who are powerful and strong and roughly made, do not hesitate in beating their wives. So they do not need any injunction from Allah since they don’t care. In the British society according to the well recorded incidents, a very large number of labour class does not hesitate in beating their wives. They very often get drunk, and in that state often beats his wife mercilessly. Does he take lessons from the new testament or the old testament or other religions? Such exactly is the case universally with people all over the world. This verse creates obstructions in the way of free beating of women. Instead of promoting it, it prevents as far as possible, that ultimate state of where man may be beat. If we read the verse in order we see it’s a suppression of the habit not the promotion of it. This is common in men and God could not ignore this matter.
Now God says when you fear rebellion of your own wives against you, nushooz, they rise against you and daily create nonsense and nuisance for you, then you are not permitted to beat them. You should admonish them first. When you see that the admonishment does not work, then separate your beds from there’s for a reasonable time. Now separating the beds is not a punishment to the rebellious woman, rather the man. For she would say go to hell and remain locked in your room, don’t enter mines. The Holy Qur’an in this way brings the man’s temper down to the ordinary level. He suffers in that separation and thinks twice or thrice and thinks that if he was wrong, then this course of abstaining from relationship, would bring his temper down to ordinary level. Then it is more likely that they reconcile with each other. At the end of this period, if the wife continues to be rebellious and vicious in her behaviour, then what should be done? Should she be handed over the police ? Or a moderate chastisement should be permitted to the husband? I think going to the police and inviting others and having the wife imprisoned is must worst than what the Qur’an proposes and that even with strict conditions
You cannot beat on the face, you should not use any hard rod, and not beat in any way that even leaves a ink print on the woman. This is what the people do not do. Whenever you hear of men being cruel to the women, even in America, they outnumber all cases committed in the Muslim world. Daily in New York, Harlem and Washington, these cruel beatings are recorded and sometimes end up in death. All over small disagreements, men go to that extreme. Islamic teaching could not be totally unrelated to the reality of life, or it would not be a divine book rather a man’s imagination. The Qur’an remains adhered to the reality of life, yet polishes human nature and extracts it and improves the quality of humans with dealing with each other. I read this verse with respect for the Qur’anic solution for disagreements with husband and wife. In all other situations where the wife is not rebellious, nowhere does Qur’an allow the beating of wife. And here ordinary disagreements are not meant by that verse.
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The best model for understanding the Qur’an was the prophet(saw) himself. He had disagreements with his wives and many of the times they were one sided and if studied you would find that it was always an excess committed by his wives. Despite this he did not even raise his little finger. Did he not understand the verse? Even when the bed was separated, he never ever beat any of his wife. The Qur’an must be understood through the Prophet and we must see how he understood it. If we read it through his conduct than the verse rises in glory and beauty in ones estimation rather than being censured as some people are. (Notes from the words of Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh)
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Now we must remember that Islam has not given permission to a husband to hit his wife over anything. Islam does not allow this. The women mentioned here are not women who make little mistakes. Rather this verse refers to women who do not obey their husband, then do not listen to them, then raise their eyes on another man in terms of sexual relations. For such women, this permission is allowed, and even then it is after the three stages. Such a woman who disobeys, hates, and then cheats on her husband has reached the worst stage. However despite becoming such a wife, the Qur’an does not allow one to hit her rather gives us steps which would cause us to refrain from beating her.
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In an ordinary case, the man would right away go to the extent of injuring his wife as we see throughout the world. Islam on the other hand says we must advise them. If they listen, the problem is solved. If they continue, then the beds must be separated. Now the third stage is that if they continue doing these ill actions then Allah allows one to raise his hand but not in the sense we see in the media from people of other faiths and backgrounds. Islam says that this is a limited stage. You cannot even touch her face. You cannot even leave a single mark. This verse in reality is present to show the women how bad their behaviour is in the sight of God.
Hadhrat Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmood Ahmad(ra) has explained that swearing and beating of one’s wife is one of the worst actions a man can do. This can be related to the concept of pork. if one asks us whether pork is allowed or haram, we would obviously say it is haram. However, what if we were dying and had no other food? In that case pork would be allowed. In the same way beating of one’s wife is completely forbidden in every circumstance. However, if she raises to that extremely rare level where she is hating her husband, not obeying her and on top of that raises her eyes on another man, then the husband is told to follow the three steps. These steps in reality stop the beating of wives as majority of men go right into hitting their partners. We have to look at the verse in context of the world and only then can it make sense. A man who beats his wife is not man rather he is a coward. –
Hadhrat Ahmad(as) stated:
The relationship a husband has with his wife should be like that of two true friends. Wives are the first to bear witness of his high morals and a relationship with Allah. If his relationship with her is not good, then how will he be able to make reconciliation with God? (Malfuzat, Volume 3, Page 300)
Advantages Women have Over Men In Islam: https://www.instagram.com/p/BhUhdMgHtCX/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
As you have probably noticed I have been posting answers on allegations regarding women in Islam. The reason for this was an ex Muslim was raising many false allegations against Islam and the rank of women. He has not been able to respond to any of the points raised. Another allegation which is often raised by those who do not understand Islam, is that women are not given any superiority over man. This is totally false. In Islam men and women are completely equal, and Allah has given rights to both genders over the other in some aspects. For example, the man is in charge of providing for the family and making sure that the house is well and running. However, women also have many superiorities over men.
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Hadhrat Ahmad(as) stated: “Women should not think that they have been wronged in anyway. Men have been given more responsibilities than them. In fact, it is as though women have been placed on a throne, and men have been told to take care of them. Men have been made responsible for all of a women’s needs, clothing, food, etc. (Malfuzat, Volume 8 Pg 442)
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One important thing many misunderstand is inheritance. Originally one would think that women receive less inheritance than men, but in reality they receive more. Islam teaches us that a male has the sharing of two females when it comes to inheritance (Chapter 4 verse 12). At the same time, Allah tells us that the men are obligated to spend their wealth on their wives and their children (Chapter 4 Verse 35). A man at first gets more inheritance. However, his inheritance has to be spent on his entire family, while the woman does not have to spend her inheritance on anyone other than herself.
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An easy example to help us understand this is if a mother is given $50 and the father is given $100, and the mother is allowed to keep all of the money, but the father has to share the money with the mother and also the children. Majority of his money would be spent on his wife and family, while the woman would keep all of her money. In this way, Islam has given women more inheritance.
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When it comes to comfort, Islam gives preference to the comfort of women over men.The daughter of the Promised Messiah (as) narrates, “Once, my brother Hadhrat Mirza Sharif Ahmad (ra), who after all was also a child, insisted that his bed also be placed close to father (as), but I refused to give up my place. Hadhrat Amaan Jan (ra) said, ‘She always sleeps here, what’s wrong if Sharif also wants to, she should leave her stubbornness for a day or two and let her brother sleep here.’ However, the Promised Messiah (as) said ‘No, she is a girl, it is more important to comfort her.’” (Seerat o Swaneh Syeda Hadhrat Nawab Mubarika Begam Sahiba, pg 67-68) Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) was extremely against those who place daughters at disadvantages. It’s one of the worst things a person can do. Hadhrat Musleh Maud(ra) had an approach against what we see in many people today. He was more affectionate towards girls in comparison to boys and would give more protection to the rights of girls. Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) said that as a child he did not understand it, and he thought it was quite unfair. He would have a argument with his sister, and she would scratch his face but it was him who was punished later. If he had ever raised his hand, and Hadhrat Musleh Maud(ra) found out about it, it was impossible to escape punishment. He explained that he later understood that women’s respect was being instilled in their hearts. –
We find no hadith stating that heaven is under the feet of the fathers, rather the Prophet (saw) made it clear that it is under the feet of the mothers. He (saw) also put their status three times above the status of a father. Apart from this, we see that generally a woman in Islam has three roles. Let us see these roles.
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The first role is that of a daughter. Before Islam, it was a practice of killing infant girls at birth. This was abolished by Islam. Allah Makes it Clear that a father must raise his daughters in the same way as raising his sons. The Holy Prophet (saw) said that he who brings up two girls through their childhood will appear on the Day of Judgement attached to me like the two fingers of a hand (Sahih Muslim). Islam raised the status of a daughter from that of not being wanted and being despised, to something loved and cherished and a key for one to attain paradise.
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The second role is that of a wife. Islam changed the role of wives completely. Generally wives were seen as servants or slaves who were below their husbands in every matter. Islam made it clear that the wife and husband are equal. Allah makes it clear that in marriage, women have rights similar to men. “Of His signs is that He created mates for you of your own kind that you may find peace of mind through them, and He has put love and tenderness between you. In that surely are signs for a people that reflect.” (30:22)
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Allah also Makes it clear that the purpose of marriage is to comfort each other, meaning both genders are included. He States:
“..They are a garment for you and you are a garment for them.” (2:188)
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This shows us that Islam regards the husband and wife as completely equal. Both should provide support, comfort and protection for each other as a garment fits a body. Islam also shows us that we have to treat women with kindness and give her all of her rights. Before Islam, a woman could not even have a divorce, despite being mistreated. Islam gave them every right possible and made it clear that both men and women are equal in the Eyes of Allah and anyone who thinks otherwise is against the Qur’an and ahadith.
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The third role, is the role of a mother. At this stage, the woman achieves her highest social status since a mother in Islam is treated like none other.
Allah States:
“And We have enjoined man to be good to his parents; his mother bears him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning takes two years….” (31:15)
The Holy Prophet(sa) said paradise lies at the feet of mothers and made it clear that your mothers are much more important than your fathers in many aspects. Once someone asked who we must be most kind to and the Prophet(saw) said “your mother” three times, and then after this said “your father”
There are many more but I have summarized a few which should be sufficient for those people against Islam
Forced Marriage in Islam: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bh10uXQH2j_/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
A lot of times in Muslim families, the parents force the daughter to marry off without her choice. This is totally against Islam. Alhamdulillah, it occurs much less with us but is a problem which needs to be addressed. Some males think they can force women to marry based off their own choice. This is an extremely dangerous concept. They want to feel as if the women are their slaves and they have their hands over them in all matters. It is more of a cultural issue and there is no room for forced marriages in Islam. Women have the right to choose as much as a man has the right to choose. They are completely equal and no one can force either gender to marry someone.
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This concept of forced marriage is disgusting and no parent should ever dare to do such a thing. The Holy Prophet(sa) explicitly stated: “No previously-married woman should be married off without being consulted, and no virgin should be married off without asking her permission.” (Bukhari)
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Hadhrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad(aba) has also made it clear that parents should support their children and their choices when it comes to marriage. The Prophet Muhammad (saw) himself said the exact same. In one question answer session, Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) stated:
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“Number one: The girl cannot be forced against her wish to marry anyone. The boy cannot be forced to wish against his will to marry anyone. The first right of decision lies with the person concerned, male or female.”
Women as Prophets: https://www.instagram.com/p/BiDc9ptHbkS/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Islam has sanctified women with rights and gave them a rank no other religion has. I have posted on this many times and made it clear for all those that try to accuse Islam. Men are responsible for the house work and making sure that the house is fully in place. The Qur’an also makes it clear that men and women are different and men have a sort of superiority in the same way women do as well. God has given men superiority in constitution only. For example, when there are Olympics, do men and women competitors run in the same course? Do they swim together? Do they play football or hockey together? Everyone is a witness to this that they do not. The Qur’an says men have been given a superiority of a sort only. –
The second thing is that men should provide food for the household and in that sense they have a superiority as well. However, if a husband sits at home, and it’s the woman who works, then the woman gains that superiority and the man loses his right of being the guardian. So there are two superiorities, one is permanent and no one can change it. Not even the most enthusiastic “leader” of women. Can they ever equate women and men in the sense of having children and one day say that it is not fair and men should also become pregnant and give birth to children? Superiority given by God cannot ever be changed. The second superiority is conditional as explained. If the man does not act as the provider of the house, he loses this authority.
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Now Allah Decided that women cannot be Prophets. We should not always question the Choice and Decision of Allah. However Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) has beautifully explained as to why this may be. Women are more delicate as compared to men and their particular task is different than men. In most regards, men and women are the same but in other regards they are different. There are special responsibilities on ladies which are special and with those qualities, women have certain inherent weaknesses as well. They are more emotional because they have to bring up their children. Compared to men, women are more sentimental and emotional and this was needed for them, since they had to raise children, tolerate them and suffer with them. If men for instance had to do the same thing, they would much sooner reach a nervous breakdown than ladies. Ladies because of their excessive love, makes children more inclined to them. These weaknesses are strong points in this regard but are weaknesses only when it comes to affairs of man. Such duties are more suited to be performed by man.
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For certain periods women cannot even pray, so what would be their position as Prophets? Islamic leadership is in agreement with all previous religious leaderships. When we count Prophets of the Old and New Testament for example, there is not a single woman prophet. All Prophets were male. Women can of course serve their part in preaching to others and bringing a revolution for Islam. As a Prophet, the person goes through such burden on his shoulders, that according to the reality of life, not sentimental basis, it is not possible for women to discharge it throughout because they go into things like pregnancy and menses and are unable to fulfill the commandments at times. –
Hadhrat Muhammad (saw) – The Liberator of Women: https://www.instagram.com/p/BiIYCvonfeR/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
When we look at the life of the Prophet Muhammad (saw), we are left amazed. The greatest of creation was perfect in every manner. One quality of his was his love for women and how he wanted women to have equal rights as men and treated as queens, seated on a throne. Sadly, nowadays men have moved far away from the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) which is why I felt this post was needed.
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Before the advent of the Holy Prophet(saw), women were bound to enslavement and servitude. No religion or people treated women with equal rights as men. A woman was not allowed to be the owner of her property, rather the husband was considered the owner. She would not receive inheritance from her father nor was she considered the heir to her husband’s wealth. Once a woman was married to a man, she was declared his forger, and she was not allowed to part with him. However the husband was allowed to divorce. If the husband left the wife and paid no attention to her or ran away from her, there was no law at all that safeguarded her rights. Men would physically discipline their wives and the wives were not allowed to speak back or complain. When the husband would die, they could marry the woman to any man they like as a favour or for a price. She was considered as a property of the husband.
Women had no rights over their children either. They had no say in domestic affairs. Husbands would take the property of their wives and abandon them without care for their provision or welfare. Women were not able to give alms from their wealth either. They were deprived of wealth of their parents and daughters were not given the love that the sons were given. Once parents passed away, the sons would take everything. –
Women were also kept deprived of their husbands wealth. Distant relatives were made heirs before the wives. No matter how bad ones husband was, the women were not allowed to separate from them despite the harsh conditions. Husbands were however allowed to divorce whenever they wished. Marriage had become a source of discomfort. Women were also forced to provide for their children and held material responsibilities. –
Women were often beaten mercilessly, and were even sold. People would lose their wives in wagers. Mothers were not asked about their children’s education nor their upbringing. When husbands and wives separated, the fathers were given custody of the children. –
Now we come to the beautiful personality of our Prophet Hadhrat Muhammad (saw). Through him, all of these cruelties disappeared. He (saw) told the world that God had entrusted him the task of safeguarding the rights of women. He declared in the name of God that men and women by virtue of their common humanity were equal and in their coexistence just as men have certain rights over women, similarly women have rights over men. Women were allowed to own property like men and husbands had no right to spend the wealth of their spouses. To take a woman’s wealth was unacceptable. Daughters were the heirs of their parents wealth just as the sons were. Women were also given the right to separate from their husbands if needed. If the husband failed to discharge his marital obligations to his wife, and ceased to speak to her and sleep with her, and if his behaviour continued to a period of four months, he was to be compelled to reform or seek a divorce.
Men are NOT the owners of their spouses. They are not allowed to sell them or use them as slaves. The wives had equal rights and had a say in the house. Husbands had to look at them as equal to their own rank and status. If a man became displeased with his wife, then it is on him to leave the house even if it belongs to him, because she is the one who is running the household. A woman also had a role in the upbringing of her children. Women were to be consulted in all matters. After a divorce, the young children were entrusted to the mother. Once they grew older, they would go to the father only for education purposes.
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The Holy Prophet(saw) brought the true rights of women and reclaimed women from the enslavement that they were forced into for thousands of years. He gave freedom to mothers and raised the status of women from below the earth to having paradise at their feet. Many countries have leaned towards the Islamic teachings when it comes to rights of women and all countries will slowly do the same In sha Allah.
Hadhrat Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmood Ahmad(ra) stated: “Women are being granted the right to vote and are being provided a platform to raise their voice in matters of national concern. Yet all these changes have arrived 1300 years after the
Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, gave the world his teaching. There is still much work to be done. In many countries women still do not have inheritance rights overtheir husbands’ or parents’ wealth. Similarly, in several other matters the world could learn much from the guidance which Islam gives. A future in which all the teachings of the Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, are
accepted as the norm is not too distant and the struggle which the Holy Prophet(sa) launched for the rights of women will soon bring forth its fruit.”
Early Marriage in Islam: https://www.instagram.com/p/BiK-Ch6Hjrv/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
A person asked about early marriage. In Islam, marriage is something that should not be delayed. Early marriage is extremely good for one’s health and also helps with chastity. The delay of marriage leads many to sin and unnecessary trouble. One of the main purposes for early marriage is to guard ones chastity. Allah has Created human beings with this desire and when one reaches the age of maturity, it is best to look into getting married. The world is in a horrible state. We often see incidents of teenage pregnancies and other such unlawful things, which further prove the beauty of Islam in promoting early marriage.
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The Prophet Muhammad (saw) stated that three matters should not be delayed. Prayer when the time comes, burial when the funeral has arrived, and the marriage of a single woman when there is a good proposal for her that matches her (Tirmidhi). The sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) was also early marriage. Promised Messiah(as) also followed this and married early, and so did his children.
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The Prophet(saw) also instructed youth to marry early. He stated:
O company of the youth! he who can afford to marry should marry, for it keeps the eyes cast down and keeps the man chaste; and he who cannot afford to marry should take to fasting for it will have a sobering effect upon him.
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Marriage has many purposes. To cover up one another’s weaknesses and shortcomings from others. To act as an adornment and embellishment for one another, and just as clothes protect us from the weather, in the same way the husband and wife should stick to each other through tough times and support each other.
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The Qur’an makes it clear that those marrying, should be mature and should have reached puberty. –
Allah States in the Qur’an:
And one of His Signs is this, that He has created wives for you from among yourselves that you may find peace of mind in them, and He has put love and tenderness between you. In that surely are Signs for a people who reflect. (30:22)
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This shows that another purpose of marriage is also to find peace of mind and in today’s day and age stress and anxiety has become prevalent and is seen everywhere. Early marriage helps a lot with ones state of mind and brings peace into one’s life. Of course, one has to pray extremely hard and marry the right person to achieve this. There are many other reasons for early marriage. One is that you start a family early, and when your children reach an age of maturity, you are still young as well. This way it is much easier to get close to your child and have a good upbringing.
Allah also States:
And those who say, ‘Our Lord, grant us of our wives and children the delight of our eyes, and make us a model for the righteous (Chapter 25 Verse 76)
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We should recite this prayer regularly.
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The following verses are recited during ones nikkah:
O ye people ! fear your Lord who created you from a single soul and of its kind created its mate, and from them twain spread many men and women; and fear ALLAH, in Whose name you appeal to one another, and fear him particularly respecting ties of kinship. Verily ALLAH watches over you (4:2)
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O ye who believe ! Fear ALLAH and say the straightforward word.
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HE will set right you actions for you and forgive you your sins. And whoso obeys ALLAH and HIS Messenger shall, surely, attain a supreme triumph(33:71-72)
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O ye who believe ! be mindful of your duty to ALLAH and let every soul look to what it sends forth for the morrow. And fear ALLAH, verily, ALLAH is Well-Aware of what you do. (59:19)
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Our beloved Khulafa have also emphasized early marriage and to marry ones children on time. Many problems arise when parents prolong the marriage of their children. At times, the children reach the age of 30+ and are still unmarried which causes a lot of stress and problems in their lives.
The age of marriage is decided by the country and its laws. The only minimum age that Islam has set is for the consummation of marriage, not the legal marriage. The age for marriage that Islam has taught, is the same that nature has taught us. It should be some time after the menses for women start, while some time after nocturnal emissions for men start. After this age, a country or community can set an age that best suits its needs as the minimum age for the consummation of marriage. This is explained in Fiqa Ahmadiyya volume 2, page 20.
Both Man and Woman Should be Religious: https://www.instagram.com/p/BkId5p6Brrz/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Hadhrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad(aba) explains that when we say that the man should find someone religious, its not only important for the girl to be religious rather the man must also be religious and this is the command. When the Prophet(sa) said search for religion. he meant the man should also be religious. Its not possible that the man be bad and he search for a good wife as such marriages never work out. Therefore marry someone religious only.
Best Advice for Successful Marriage: https://www.instagram.com/p/BkOJj0OBDwy/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Prayers For Marriage in Islam: https://www.instagram.com/p/BkTMK4Hhm0c/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Someone asked which prayers one should read when they feel that they are ready to get married. There are many important prayers we must read. Firstly, we cannot miss any of the five daily prayers which is a given. Furthermore, one should offer Tahajjud prayers regularly and ask Allah whether the specific person is good for them or not. –
The next important dua is istikhara which includes two nawafil after Isha prayers, before one sleeps. Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) used to say that its istikhara (asking for goodness) and not istakhbara (asking for dreams etc). Istikhara will help you feel inclined towards what is right but even that should not be done with bias. You should also keep in mind that faith should be your priority because if you do not make this your priority, you are risking the future for yourself and your progeny. Surah al Kafirun in the first raka and surah ikhlas in the second. Here is the dua
اللهم إني أستخيرك بعلمك، وأستقدرك بقدرتك، وأسألك من فضلك العظيم؛ فإنك تقدر ولا أقدر وتعلم ولا أعلم، وأنت علام الغيوب. اللهم إن كنت تعلم أن هذا الأمر خير لي في ديني ومعاشي وعاقبة أمري ، فاقدره لي ويسره لي، ثم بارك لي فيه، وإن كنت تعلم أن هذا الأمر شر لي في ديني ومعاشي وعاقبة أمري فاصرفه عني ، واصرفني عنه، واقدر لي الخير حيث كان، ثم ارضني به”
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“Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi ‘ilmika, wa astaqdiruka bi qudratika, wa as-‘aluka min fadlikal-‘azim. Fainnaka taqdiru wa la aqdiru, wa ta’lamu wa la a’lamu, wa Anta ‘allamul- ghuyub. Allahumma in kunta ta’lamu anna hadhal-‘amra (and name what you want to do) khairun li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa ‘aqibati amri, (faqdurhu li wa yassirhu li, thumma barik li fihi. Wa in kunta ta’lamu anna hadhal ‘amra (and name what you want to do) sharrun li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa ‘aqibati amri, , fasrifhu ‘anni, wasrifni ‘anhu, waqdur liyal- khaira haithu kana, thumma ardini bihi.”
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(O Allah, I consult You through Your Knowledge, and I seek strength through Your Power, and ask of Your Great Bounty; for You are Capable whereas I am not and, You know and I do not, and You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allah, if You know that this matter (and name it) is good for me in respect of my Deen, my livelihood and the consequences of my affairs, then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. But if You know this matter (and name it) to be bad for my Deen, my livelihood or the consequences of my affairs then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it, and grant me power to do good
whatever it may be, and cause me to be contented with it). And let the supplicant specify the object.”
Also regularly pray:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
…”Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”(Chapter 25 verse 75)
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Also pray: رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ
Indeed I am in need of goodness –
And:
للهم إني أسألك حبك، وحب من يحبك، والعمل الذي يبلغني حبك، اللهم اجعل حبك أحب إلى من نفسي، وأهلي، ومن الماء البارد
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “One of Prophet Dawud’s supplications was: ‘Allahumma inni as’aluka hubbaka, wa hubba man yuhibbuka, wal-‘amalalladhi yuballighuni hubbaka. Allahumm-aj’al hubbaka ahabba ilayya min nafsi, wa ahli, wa minal-ma’il-baridi (O Allah! I ask You for Your Love, the love of those who love You, and deeds which will cause me to attain Your Love. O Allah! Make Your Love dearer to me than myself, my family and the cold water).”‘
Marrying a Non Ahmadi: https://www.instagram.com/p/BkV5Btdhade/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
All Ahmadis should marry within Jam’at and this is clear from Qur’an, Sunnah, The Promised Messiah (as) and the Holy Prophet (sa) as well. Hadhur has explained that if a Ahmadi girl is married to a non Ahmadi, she will certainly become estranged from the Jama’at and therefore this practice should be shunned. He (aba) also said that the fact that we do not marry non Ahmadis is not because we wish to create division but rather it is to safeguard ourselves and to give preference to our faith over the world.
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What is marriage? Marriage is done with the heartfelt desire by the parents that they may marry their children in a place of peace and that she lives a peaceful life. In the fiqh books it mentions there must be kufw(compatibility). The more compatibility, the more peaceful the marriage will be. Those who ask why Ahmadi Muslims do not marry non Ahmadi Muslims should ask themselves would they marry their PHD daughters to a person who is uneducated? Would a amir of 5 factories marry his daughter to a non wealthy person? Of course not. Hadhrat Muhammad (saw) stated if you get a rishta, and you like their deen and character then accept the rishta. –
Secondly, before getting into such a incident we should know that the non Ahmadi Muslims themselves do not marry Ahmadis as well. At times the youth are confused and think the marriage would work but it doesn’t work and the other side themselves reject the Ahmadi Muslims.
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Imagine your daughter marries a non Ahmadi and the non Ahmadi has parents who call her Mirzai and mocks her faith? We do not therefore marry outside of Jamaat. If someone rejects the Messiah, it’s obvious they think he was not true. No parent wants their daughter to be mocked her entire life for her faith.
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Hadhur (aa) also made it clear that Ahmadi men should realize that if they are TRUE Ahmadis they should not consider their own desires, and should only marry Ahmadis. They should give preference to their faith and their future progeny over worldly desires. Future generations are not only corrupted if Ahmadi girls marry others but also when Ahmadi boys marry non Ahmadi girls. And if Ahmadi boys marry outside the jama’at then who shall marry Ahmadi girls?
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“God states: ‘O ye who believe! save yourselves and your families from a Fire…’ (66:7) If a follower of the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) was to be married to a non-Ahmadi, she would be distanced from Ahmadiyyat or would die in misery as she would be separated from her family. Can a woman throw her daughter in fire with her own hands? The practice of Ahmadis not marrying non-Ahmadis is not creating discord, it is self-protection and giving precedence to faith over worldly matters. Young men should also understand that if they call themselves Ahmadis and consider themselves as true Ahmadis they should not simply pursue personal wishes, they should marry Ahmadi girls and pay attention to faith over worldly wishes.”
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“The next generation is not only ruined by girls marrying outside Ahmadiyyat, it can also be the case when young men marry outside. Each Ahmadi should understand that one is not an Ahmadi merely due to societal pressure or because of relationships. One should be an Ahmadi owing to being mindful of faith. If Ahmadi young men keep on marrying girls from outside, what of Ahmadi girls? If attention is not given Ahmadiyyat may not remain in families.”
At the start of his Khilafat in 1914 Hazrat Musleh Maud (may Allah be pleased with him) said that he was aware that people of Jama’at had problems relating to marriages between Ahmadis and non-Ahmadis but [after Khilafat] he understood from letters how much difficulty people were experiencing. The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) had recommended that a register be kept of names of young men and women who were of marriageable age on the suggestion of a person who had said that there was great difficulty in marriages of young men and women.
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He said that the Promised Messiah’s advice was not to foster relationships outside and people of the Jama’at were diverse, so what was to be done! Thus he suggested a register with names of Ahmadi young men and women which could be referred to every time someone asked for the Promised Messiah’s advice on marriage, because he said that no one in the Jama’at would not take the Promised Messiah’s advice. Some people make suggestions based on their personal interests and always end up in trouble because of this. It appears the intention of the person who made the suggestion was also not so good. Around the same time a very sincere Ahmadi approached the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) for advice on marriage and the Promised Messiah referred him to a daughter of the person who had suggested making a register. However, he made an extremely illogical excuse and married his daughter to a non-Ahmadi. When the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) came to know about this he said he was not going to get involved in marriage proposals again. Had this not been the case the Jama’at would not have faced the problems it does in this regard. One denial of what Prophet of God says can become a source of continuous trial for a community.”
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“People who marry their daughters outside soon realise the mistake. People still write acknowledging that they are suffering due to the decisions they made. Some girls are restricted from meeting their families and are also deprived of their faith. Hazrat Khalifatul Masih said at times people have not accepted his suggestions for marital matches. However, such people do end up in horrific situations.”
– • Islam also makes clear whom a Muslim is allowed to marry as far as his/her religion is concerned. Marriage with an idolater is totally forbidden (see Holy Qur’an, 2:222) for both sexes. However, men are allowed to marry women of the “people of the Book” (i.e., those who follow a revealed scripture), although it is not considered preferable. – • Furthermore, you should be aware that the Promised Messiah (peace be on him) limited the category “people of the Book” to Jewish and Christian women. He has also prohibited Ahmadi women from marrying non-Ahmadi men. The reasoning behind this is very sound. A woman is not permitted to marry outside her faith because when she is in her husband’s home and environment, she and her children are exposed to non-Muslim and non-Ahmadi culture and practices. This makes it very difficult for her to remain steadfast in her own faith and bring up her children as Muslims. A man, on the other hand can more easily influence his wife and bring her into the Islamic way of life.
Hadhrat Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmood Ahmad(ra) states: “Then there are times when a person, in order to show that he is fully obeying the command of the Promised
Messiahas, spreads the news that the person to whom he is going to marry his daughters is an Ahmadi or someone that has recently joined the Jama‘at. He says that only the formal initiation remains, and that such a person will pledge bai’at as soon as he is able to visit Qadian. They also get him to write a letter [for bai‘at]. In certain cases, such a person even turns up in Qadian and pledges bai‘at. In certain other cases, boys, in order to get the hand of a girl of their choice, deceive the girl’s family by saying that they have already written a letter pledging their bai‘at, thereby demanding that the family of the girl should marry their daughter to him. But nikahs of this kind never result in true happiness, for the intention behind
them is not good. God does not need a person who enters the
Jama‘at only for the sake of marriage. Nor does such a person stay
steadfast with his pledge of bai‘at, or change his way of life to adopt better morals. Even if he sticks to his pledge of bai‘at, he proves to be a constant source of annoyance for the Jama‘at. There have been a number of such incidents and their result has always been undesirable. “
Love Marriage and Dating: https://www.instagram.com/p/BkV9VmrBkLn/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
A question came in about love marriage and having a boyfriend or girlfriend in Islam. Firstly, Hadhrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad(aba) has stated in his khutba on March 8 2016, that parents should focus on their daughters preference as well and listen to them rather than wasting time on things like castes. Therefore, we do have a choice for whom we want to marry and can tell our parents who we are interested in. However, we must follow the Islamic way for this which is through parents who present people to you, and then you pray over it. –
In today’s day and age parents say we know better and do not allow their children to have any say in their marriage. Firstly, we must treat our parents nicely and cannot be disrespectful to them in even this matter. We should focus on their choice as well and not become disobedient. If we do so, we are going against the Qur’an of being respectful to parents. However, Qur’an also gives us our rights. Every man and woman have a right to choose whom they want to marry. –
The Prophet(sa) has given us rules. Nowhere in the Qur’an or ahadith does it mention that the man can force his children to marry someone. However, there are places from ahadith which prove that Ibrahim(as) made Ismael(as) divorce but they were both prophets and his suggestion was actually a command since he was a prophet. But this does not mean every father can do so. He was a Prophet of Allah and Hadhrat Ibrahim(as) was no ordinary prophet. His son was also really special and their relationship was extremely close. –
Giving this reference is irrelevant. However, in the religion one can give their opinion. If the son has qualities of Ismael(as) and thinks that there is a religious inferiority, and if the son agrees and that his father his right that his progeny would be destroyed, then he should give divorce. But it should not be said that the father has the right to force someone to marry or divorce. One should also not blindly marry someone if they know they cannot fulfill the rights of marriage as this would ruin the life of the girl and her family. If there is great differences you should not marry the person. Minor differences are fine and are natural.
As for Muslims allowed to have boyfriends and girlfriends in Islam, then the answer is it is not allowed. Many think that dating is an effective way to get to know the other person but this is completely false. A person may be good on a “date” and horrible as a spouse. Even after years of marriage, spouses have difficulties understanding each other. Hadhrat Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmood Ahmad(ra) stated:
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“The law has made the wali (guardian) a man because he can see the conditions and emotions of men better than women. He can see if this man will deceive her or has a shortcoming” (Khutbat-e-Mahmud, Vol 3, Khutbat-e-Nikah, Page 476)
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In Islam we do not need to date, rather we get to know the person whom we want to marry through mutual friends, families, and also strong Jamaat members who know of them.
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No such relationship is allowed in Islam. We see many fallen into depression into this, and they have ruined their lives because they have fallen into these things. There is no need to fall into this and we should rather focus on our education and then when the age comes, Allah would make it happen to yourself. Islam does not say that we will not have natural inclinations, rather Islam asks us to control these inclinations. –
Isa(as) in the Bible aso said that do not look at a woman with lust as that would mean you committed adultery in your heart Matthew 5:28-29. Islam protects the rights of women first when speaking about marriage , as we see its the duty of the husband to take care of the wife. However, when a man dates a woman, we see many women fall into teen pregnancies and the girls end up on the streets with no support. We often see young women without a husband struggling on the trains with their three month old children since they have no support at all. If this is stopped, there would be no love marriage. However, if you do like someone you are allowed to tell your parents.
Purpose of Dowry: https://www.instagram.com/p/BkbnkXJBqzF/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Many often wonder what the purpose of dowry is and its importance. In fact, in many Muslim communities this concept is misunderstood. The dowry is a security for the women. Some anti Muslims claim that dowry is payment for conjugal relations which is completely false and absurd since this payment has to be given even when the marriage ends before it has been consummated. Even when divorce happens, the woman is still entitled to half of the dowry. Man is made responsible for providing sustenance for his wife and is her guardian and therefore its compulsory to pay the dowry as a token of acknowledgement of her role she has taken to play. There are many who fix large dowries and this leads to many misconceptions and misunderstandings between the families. Islam looks with disfavour upon fixing large dowries, except in exceptional circumstances where it cannot be helped, meaning for example if the necessity to safeguard the bride’s right of inheritance. –
The Prophet(sa) said:
” Blessed is the marriage which comes about with ease and entails no hardship, it must not entail too heavy a burden of expenses nor should the dowry be too much for the bridgegroom to pay.”
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Hadhrat Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmood Ahmad(ra) stated:
– ” Those who fix large dowries, only for show and fail to pay, are guilty of committing a sin. The companions of the Holy Prophet used to pay the dowry money in advance. Hence, the best thing is to pay it up in advance, if possible. Dowry is, in fact, a debt owed by the husband to his wife. (Alfazl 15-1-1918)”
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Allah States that if you divorce them before you have touched them, but have settled for them a dowry, then half of what you have settled shall be due from you (2:238). In cases of widows, the wife is given the full dowry. –
There was a woman named Birwa bint Washiq. She married a man who ended up dying before consummating the marriage with her, and the Prophet (sa) said she should be given the dowry like her peers and she could inherit and she had to observe iddah (waiting period till she can marry again) (Sunan an Nasai)
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Hadhrat Mirza Bashiruddin Mahmood Ahmad(ra) wrote:
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“The philosophy of dowry is that a woman have a set property that she has personal authority over. She has many needs which men consider unimportant, but they are important to her. Also, there are some matters which she cannot explain to men. The Shariahh has acknowledged her needs and has arranged an independent property for her. By assigning a dower for her, Islam has established her right and has thus fulfilled a great need of society.” (Fatawa Hazrat Musleh Mau’ud, vol. 2 pg. 22)
Hazrat Musleh Mau’ud (ra) wrote, “The object of Mehr is that the wife should have an independent proprietary position, and should be free to spend in charity or make gifts to her relations, etc., out of her separate property. The institution of Mehr is a practical acknowledgment by the husband of the independent proprietary position of the wife and her right to maintain and acquire separate property over which the husband has no control.” (Ahmadiyyat or the True Islam, pg. 238)
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All husbands must give dowry but with love and not with anger. Allah Commands us to give the dowries willingly (4:5). Dowry also includes the gratitude to the wife for her sacrifices. May Allah Enable all men to fulfill these duties ameen.
Short Note on Equality: https://www.instagram.com/p/BmLwFI1Hg8r/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Some people have asked that if Islam calls for equality of all, then why is there a green are and separate events for certain people? Well the answer is quite simple. We sometimes misunderstand what Islam calls for. Everyone is to be respected and treated as one family. We should show love and respect to all and not disrespect anyone because of their race. However, at the same time Islam tells us that we should treat people based on their ranks as well. It is narrated in a hadtih:
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Narrated Maimun ibn Abu Shabib:
A beggar passed by Aisha and she gave him a piece of bread. Another man who wore clothes and had a good appearance passed by her, and she made him sit down and he ate (with her). When she was asked about that, she replied: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Treat the people according to their ranks.
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For this reason, those who have sacrificed their lives for Islam and Ahmadiyyat would obviously be treated in a different way and given some sort of respect over other Ahmadi Muslims. However, when it comes to meeting the Khalifa, all are given equal opportunities.
Age Difference in Marriage: https://www.instagram.com/p/BmOPfSvnhkI/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Many ask the question about the age difference between a husband and wife. In Islam, there is no specific rule to this. You may marry someone older or younger. Islam requires to look at the faith and many Muslims today look at the opposite.
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Hadhrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad(aba) stated:
“There is no specific rule when it comes to age. The Holy Prophet (sa) married someone 15 years older than him and also someone 20 years younger. He also married those similar in age. The sunnah has been laid out for us. The only thing is the minds should be alike and there should be compatibility and similar thoughts. If someone is not mature, then there will be fights, fitna and corruption. However, sometimes to save your progeny, you need to make sacrifices. Aga Khani Ismaili Firqa called Aga Khani Aga Khani Ismaili firqa have something which I really like. In the area of Gilgit, they have a huge population and the women there are well qualified. BA and Ma graduates. And the Aga Khanis for their future generations, have opened many schools. However, the men were not well educated before and men generally focus less on studies and the environment was like that as well. The men only passed grade 9 or 10. The MA and BA passed women married them and said we married them because we want to sacrifice for our future generation that they study and are saved so the Ismaili firqa can continue. If the Ismaili firqa which has no truth and has destroyed Islam to the point where they have stopped the five obligatory prayers can make such sacrifices, then Ahmadi girls should also make sacrifices to save their progeny, except if there is a situation where the man is far from Islam and religion. Where attitude and minds and kufw (compatibility) of other sorts and all match, if there is some small age difference there is no harm. Women mature more quickly in comparison to men. If there is a 18 year old girl and is marrying to a man who is 26 or 27 there is no harm” (Gulshan Waqf Nau, Lajna and Nasirat, Germany October 8, 2011)
Falsehood of Triple Talaq: https://www.instagram.com/p/BmOYm5Mn7fR/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Islam allows divorce. However, according to the ahadith, it is one of the most displeasing acts in the sight of Allah out of what is permissible. In fact, Allah has Designed divorce in a way where it allows many chances for reconciliation. In Islam, the divorce must be pronounced three times and there is an interval of one month between each pronouncement. The wife is supposed to stay in the family home and reconciliation is encouraged. During the three months time to reconcile, the woman stays with the husband. The elders should also help reconcile and bring about peace. If the divorce happens, the husband has to send her away with respect and kindness. He is also in charge of the children until they are aged. There are many reasons for divorce. These include:
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1. Adultery, but four eyewitnesses are required if the accused mate denies it.
2. Husbands’ refusal to economically maintain the family.
3. Husbands’ refusal to have conjugal relations for more than three months.
4. Physical or sexual abuse of a spouse or children.
5. Incompatibility of spouses to such a degree that differences cannot be reconciled.
Divorce may be initiated by either husband or wife. If the husband seeks the divorce, it is called talaq, and he may not ask the return of any gifts he made to the wife. If the wife wants the divorce, it is khulla, and she should return her dower. Both divorced men and women are permitted to remarry (other mates).
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In the world today, some think there is a concept of triple talaq which is a divorce in one single sitting. This is false and against the Qur’an
Best Professions For Women: https://www.instagram.com/p/BmYsplOHutx/?taken-by=ahmadianswers
Some Muslim scholars say that the women can only work in certain conditions. Meaning, when the situation demands. Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) said women are free to work as they please as long as they are not married and their parents have no objection. They are free to work as long as they are married and their husbands have no objection against this. Because the responsibilities of their maintenance is either on their parents or their husbands. According to the Qur’an, they are obliged to spend on their wives and take care of all their requirements. For this reason, it is not essential for any woman to WORK FOR HER LIVING. But she has a option and choice to work wherever she pleases provided that she does not neglect her responsibilities of maintaining the home and children. if she neglects it, it is equal to neglecting the future generation –
The women who work while married with children, have very little time to take care of the house and their children and their upbringing. So they are either handed over to hard hands of babysitters or they are just locked in the house or sent to the school. This is unfair treatment to the future human generation. Islam strongly discourages it for this reason, yet if the husband and wife agree, nothing can stop them from doing it. However, at the same time, Islam requires the husband to earn for himself and the family and he has no right on the money earned by his wife. Either he should permit her or not permit her. But if he permits her, he cannot use her as a sort of means of increasing his own personal income. All the wife earns would belong to her. This is what we learn from the Qur’an and ahadith.
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Now the question arises as to what the best careers for women are when the husband and woman are forced to both work to keep the house running according to Islam. According to Islam, we should prefer professions where the lady has least exposure. Where there is more public exposure, it is better to refrain from it. There are a lot of professions with little public exposure. A lady doctor for example has no public exposure. She is helping the sick and serving a cause. The environment is good. If there is any danger, then it is only in private areas where they gossip with the male doctors. Lady doctors should be careful of that because it’s not a part of the profession rather its socialization. If they choose medical, its amazing as long as they put aside the socialization with men freely. Teaching is another amazing career. It also has low exposure and there is no harm. –
Being in law is also really good. The exposure a wakil gets cannot become a means of danger for her. Being in the
Firms are technically related to knowledge as well and there is not much socialization. –
The research field is also good and these are really amazing professions. Secretarial jobs have more dangers. For this reason, Hadhrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad(rh) preferred it least. Shops are also not good and should be avoided except if it’s really needed.
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After marriage, women should firstly fulfill their rights as a wife and mother. The knowledge of a lady takes precedence. There is no harm in researching and gaining knowledge. Without knowledge a woman cannot be complete. Without knowledge, a woman cannot have a complete personality either. Mothers really need to be educated, especially in today’s society. –
End of the day it depends on person to person and there is no set rule. –